- TNG season 8 redirects here. For a list of actual TNG seasons, see Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Warped - An Engaging Guide to the Never-Aired 8th Season is a licensed parody book that includes summaries of 26 imaginary episodes from TNG's non-existent 8th season.
Description[]
- In the basement of the Star Trek archives, behind shelves of USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D models, bags of wigs, and bins of plastic phasers, sits a dusty cardboard box. Inside is a pile of VHS tapes that contain never-before-seen episodes and behind-the-scenes footage for something truly amazing. The world thinks there are only seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, but there's one more. A secret season.
- Actually, not really. But that didn't stop Mike McMahan, creator of the parody Twitter account @TNG_S8, from making a guide full of:
- REAL* TNG SEASON 8 FACTS AND STORIES!
- REAL* TNG SEASON 8 DIALOGUE AND IMAGES!
- (* Again, not really, of course. This is humor. Sorry.)
Episodes[]
Crushers Not Included[]
- Episode 08-001, pages 1–9, stardate 47995.8
- Wesley Crusher and the Traveler are captured by the Borg and used as batteries. The encounter with the Borg causes a malfunction with the Enterprise power systems, and William T. Riker's blouse malfunctions.
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Captain Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • The Traveler • Counselor Deanna Troi
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class explorer) (bridge • sickbay) • Borg cones
- Races and cultures
- Betazoid • Borg • Human • Traveler
- Other references
- asteroid • blouse • cherry • chocolate chip • energy • headache • ice cream • ice cream sundae • LuxComfort Ultra Blouse • meditation • mint chocolate chip ice cream • red alert • rocky road ice cream • sensor • space • starship factory • sugar cone • waffle cone • waffle cone sundae • yoga
- Background
- Interpreting this chapter's stardate using the basic rubric provided in the Star Trek Chronology places this story late in the year 2370.
Lecture Circuits[]
- Episode 08-002, pages 10–18, stardate 47999.5
- Characters
- Data • Ebra • Exocomp 77 • Hover Car • Hargon • Linda • Jean-Luc Picard • Plimp • Rad • William T. Riker • Christoph Westlake • chatty birch • five-legged alien bear
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class explorer)
- Locations
- Blood Worm Awareness Conference Hall • Earth • Runyan 8 • Starfleet Academy • Serengeti 5 (referenced)
- Races and cultures
- Andorian war construct • android • Exocomp • Human • mech-zebra
- Other references
- degenerative facial asymmetry disorder • Khitomer Massacre • Two's Company, Three's a Crowd • π Is the Ratio of a Circle's Circumference to Its Diameter • Your Mother Hates Me • Iliad
Suggested Donation of Danger[]
- Episode 08-003, pages 19-30, stardate 48015.1
- Characters
- Strongest Brian • Sweet Conrad • Beverly Crusher • Data • Geordi La Forge • Gary Mitchell • Alyssa Ogawa • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Big Shakespeare • Gregory St. Beard II • Brave Steven • Tuk the Destroyer • Qorpo w'Ark • Worf • Zizz the Destroyer
- Referenced only
- Harry Kim • Kahless
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class explorer)
- Locations
- Brodo-5 • Hall of Amazing Men • Marmullian Zacow • Museum of Museum Studies • Museumtucky • New Museum • Realistic Forest • University of Museum
- Referenced only
- Brodo-6 • Equatorial Food Court Island • Fireworks Museum • Great Barrier Coat Room • Gift Shop Island • Icy Parking Lots of the North
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • Klingon
- States and organizations
- Klingon High Council
- Other references
- museum
Hair of the Synthadog[]
- Episode 08-004, pages 31-44, stardate 48017.3
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Data • Girtroy • Guinan • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • Deanna Troi • Mzzk queen
- Referenced only
- Wesley Crusher • David Krrgvanimanpon • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Romulan patrol ship
- Locations
- Jessica 8 • Jessica system
- Referenced only
- Mzzk
- Races and cultures
- android • Betazoid • El-Aurian • Girtroy's species • Human • Romulan
- Referenced only
- Pigmalinite
- States and organizations
- Broheims
- Other references
- Buffer Buster • Cardassian Spy • Ceti eel • Dirt beer • Edward 40 Hands • Eugenic War • Flaxian Flu • Grabarian potato • The Grouchy Bynar • moon • Mzzk ant • Paradise Snare • Pulaski's Drink • Qo'noS CoolatA • Regulan Shuttle Bomb • Risky Maneuver • Romulan ale • sandwich • Spin the Bottle of Punching • Tribble Maneuver • Vulcan ale • Warp core breach (beverage) • Yesterday's Tomorrow Today
I Only Have Mitochondria for You[]
- Episode 08-005, pages 45-53, stardate 48022.3
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • sentient virus
- Referenced only
- Geordi La Forge • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Ten-Forward
- Races and cultures
- Human • sentient virus
Transporter Madness[]
- Episode 08-006, pages 54-64, stardate 48035.3
- Characters
- Beckett • Wesley Crusher • Data • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Ridley Roiland • Spot • Worf
- Referenced only
- Guinan
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- sickbay
- Referenced only
- Arrar sector • Gamma Quadrant
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • Klingon
- Other references
- buffering • d'k tahg • tribble • urine sun
Quantum Dolphins[]
- Episode 08-007, pages 65-77, stardate 48115.7
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Data • Guinan • Geordi La Forge • Pho • Jean-Luc Picard • Wade • dolphin judge
- Referenced only
- Butternut • Q • William T. Riker • The Traveler • Deanna Troi • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- holodeck • Ten-Forward
- Referenced only
- Aquatics bay • Cetacean ops
- Races and cultures
- android • El-Aurian • Human • Pho's species • quantum dolphin
- Referenced only
- Boof • GiKwari • Hoovo
- Other references
- cocoa • Great Chumming Machine • hockey • horizontal space rainbow • quantum wine
Rikerworld[]
- Episode 08-008, pages 78-84, stardate 48118.9
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Deanna Troi
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Manly Mines • Rastogan-12 • sickbay • Swagger Cathedral
- Races and cultures
- Betazoid • Human
- Other references
- beardgrass • jazz • microscopic Riker • Riker bat • Riker horse
The Final Sale Frontier[]
- Episode 08-009, pages 85-94, stardate 48121.2
- Characters
- Johann Sebastian Bach (hologram) • Wesley Crusher • Data • EnyonK • Geordi La Forge • Miles O'Brien • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • WhitnE
- Referenced only
- James T. Kirk • Spock
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Brittney's • holodeck
- Referenced only
- Canyons of Trajdor • Deep Space 9 • Villia
- Races and cultures
- android • Human
- Referenced only
- Borg • Vulcan
- Other references
- Kolinahr • Logic Lice • Mzzk ant • nanogoo stir stick • The Savage Curtain (song) • yamok sauce
Deadly Cadence[]
- Episode 08-010, pages 95-106, stardate 48125.6
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Data • Gla'ar • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Deanna Troi • Worf • Tangorian wasp
- Referenced only
- Geoffrey Chaucer • G'Trok • Kar'Mar • Mark Twain
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class explorer)
- Locations
- Luvu
- Referenced only
- Qo'noS • Risa
- Races and cultures
- android • Betazoid • Human • Klingon
- Other references
- bat'leth • BMW • Cortack Blood • kut'luch • rollerblades
Fertile Ground[]
- Episode 08-011, pages 107-118, stardate 48126.9
- Characters
- Antoinette • Beverly Crusher • Data • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • caterpillar-esque creature • mouse-like alien
- Referenced only
- Crystalline Entity • James T. Kirk • Spot • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- deck 25 • hydroponics bay
- Races and cultures
- android • Antoinette's species • Human
- Referenced only
- Ferengi • Gorn • Klingon
- Other references
- black hole • graviton beam • katana • Khitomer Accords • tachyon emitter
White Face Paint and Black Tubing[]
- Episode 08-012, pages 119-127, stardate 48128.1
- Characters
- Wesley Crusher • Iowa (horse) • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker
- Referenced only
- Lore
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Borg cube
- Locations
- battle bridge • Gambier 5 • Ten-Forward • turbolift
- Races and cultures
- Ferengi • Human
- Referenced only
- Borg • Gambierian • Vulcan
The Lowest Decks[]
- Episode 08-013, pages 129-138, stardate 48128.8
- Characters
- Franklin • Geordi La Forge • Lydia • Worf
- Referenced only
- Data • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Deanna Troi
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Referenced only
- Soyuz-class
- Locations
- Deck 43
- Races and cultures
- Human • Klingon • Reman
- Referenced only
- Romulan • Vulcan
- Other references
- dilithium • holodeck drainage pipe • judo • organic laser disposal • sewage reclamation pump • transporter lint bin
Terror-forming[]
- Episode 08-014, pages 139-147, stardate 48136.3
- Characters
- Wesley Crusher • Data • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Willis • Worf • Zachary (dolphin)
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Hupyria (planet) • Naldoar Prime
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • Hupyrian • Klingon • quantum dolphin
- Referenced only
- Ferengi
- Other references
- beetle shack • Genesis Device
Barclay's Day[]
- Episode 08-015, pages 148-159, stardate 48137.1
- Characters
- Reginald Barclay • California Steve • Jean-Luc Picard • Q • baby space snakes
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- bridge • holodeck
- Races and cultures
- Human • Q (species)
- Other references
- environmental suit • Gazorpazorpian caterpillar • holodeck arch • replicator • sauna • shield emitter • turbolift
Predators[]
- Episode 08-016, pages 160-166, stardate 48138.4
- Characters
- Wesley Crusher • Data • Homn • Jean-Luc Picard • William Riker • Deanna Troi • Lwaxana Troi • VelociRiker • Worf
- Referenced only
- Odo
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- bridge • Ten-Forward
- Referenced only
- Deep Space 9
- Races and cultures
- android • Betazoid • Human • Klingon • velociraptor
- Referenced only
- Ferengi
- Other references
- Tavnian buzzard • tennis
Icy Hot[]
- Episode 08-017, pages 167-175, stardate 48139.6
- Characters
- Wesley Crusher • Data • Fargon • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William Riker • Vick
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Porp • bridge
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • ice alien • Klingon
- Other references
- antiproton beam • distortion wave • gravitic sensor net • Lower Decks Challenge • metaphasic sweep • Mok'bara • quantum beacon • sensor echo • Suicide (beverage) • tachyon detection grid • tetryon
Hippocratic Style[]
- Episode 08-018, pages 176-184, stardate 48139.9
- Characters
- Chezzer • Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Data • Gorlip • Korpo • Kupow Triplets • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • Worf • Laaperian hawk
- Referenced only
- Brooke
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Marmi • Ten-Forward
- Races and cultures
- Aaamazzarite • android • Bolian • Human • Klingon • Laaperian hawk • Marmian • Orion
- Referenced only
- Ferengi
- Other references
- bat'leth • dilithium • Hippocratic Style • positronic brain • Silver Spoon syndicate • VISOR
Tashayarasha Tyar[]
- Episode 08-019, pages 187-196, stardate 48140.2
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Data • Picariketroi LaCrusher • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William Riker • Deanna Troi • Worf • Tashayarasha Tyar • Tasha Yar
- Referenced only
- Tuvix
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Referenced only
- Nervala IV • Vagra II
- Races and cultures
- android • Betazoid • Human • Klingon
Son of a Mogh[]
Worf.
- Episode 08-020, pages 197-205, stardate 48155.7
- Characters
- Angelikar Cavallo • Wesley Crusher • Data • Jean-Luc Picard • Worf • cyber crabs
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Ten-Forward
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • Klingon
- Other references
- dog • Pon farr • "Worfing"
Time Fire[]
Picard versus Newanderthals.
- Episode 08-021, pages 206-215, stardate 48156.3
- Characters
- Cleopatra • Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Neanderthal Hitler • Jean-Luc Picard • Q • William G. Riker
- Referenced only
- sentient cave • Data • robo-Neanderthal JFK • Geordi La Forge • Deanna Troi • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Enterprise-Z
- Locations
- Bartek-8 • Caldos II • France • White House
- Races and cultures
- Human • Neanderthal • Q (species)
- Referenced only
- Borg
- Other references
- anti-cave pants • Internet • Mom pants • shotgun • time paradox
Controlled Burn[]
- Episode 08-022, pages 216-224, stardate 48158.5
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Data • Guinan • Geordi La Forge • William Riker • Vick • Worf • Marvistan emperor
- Locations
- Marvista • Ten-Forward
- Races and cultures
- android • Borg • El-Aurian • Human • Klingon • Marvistan
- Other references
- amphora vase • VISOR
Pointed Threats[]
- Episode 08-023, pages 225-235, stardate 48158.7
- Characters
- Brotney • Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Data • Gagliar • Geordi La Forge • Vok • Worf
- Referenced only
- Reginald Barclay • T'Kik • Tasha Yar
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Museum of Famous Swords • Sector 25712 • sickbay • Zindo
- Referenced only
- Qo'noS • Siblee sector
- Races and cultures
- android • Brotney's species • Human • Klingon
- Other references
- checkers • cocoon • The Danger Knife • The Demon Blade • d'k tahg • Garvdo's Revenge • House of Dink • katana • lirpa • Old Double Hilt • The Pleban • Parrises squares • Prime Directive • The Singing Sword • SnaptroS • Strife • warlarK
The Fun Enterprise[]
Enterprise-D.
- Episode 08-024, pages 236-246, stardate 48159.3
- Characters
- Reginald Barclay • B'Etor • Beverly Crusher • Data • Donk • Jerry Feldman • Geordi La Forge • Lursa • Jean-Luc Picard • William Riker • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • fun Enterprise
- Locations
- Qo'noS • Ten-Forward
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • Klingon
- Other references
- arcade machine • bat'leth • cigarette • "Consuming Living Prey" • cotton candy • Great Klingon Challenges • grishnar • jarzo • House of Duras • House of Martok • particle stick • shark tank • silly string • targ • YMCA
The Atrocious Mr. Quispy Bumpers[]
- Episode 08-025, pages 247-258, stardate 48162.7
- Characters
- Quispy Bumpers • Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Nate • William Riker
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Eternal Love Nest • Laap Ri
- Races and cultures
- Human • quantum dolphin • Quispy Bumpers' species
- Other references
- bird tobacco dip
Werewolf-Wolf[]
- Episode 08-026, pages 259, stardate 48163.1
- Characters
- Wesley Crusher • Data • Geordi La Forge • William T. Riker • Werewolf-Wolf • alien jeweller • mega-mosquito • ultra-caterpillar
- Locations
- Tanz
- Other references
- Data's holonovels: (The Werewolf-Wolf: The Story of a Wolf that Can Turn into a Werewolf, Based on a Drawing by Geordi La Forge • The Engine That Nobody Thought Could Be Repaired but Then It Was: A Geordi Tale • The Mystery of the Candy Tree • Geordi Can Fly • Cowboy Horse • Dance-Contest Danger • Who Kidnapped Cowboy Horse • Snake Town • Vacation Island and the Mysterious Coin) • mega-amber • mega-tree
Appendices[]
Images[]
Cover image.
Back cover image.
Geordi and Data with a quantum dolphin.
Data and Spot.
Geordi.
Wesley.
Worf.
Beverly.
Picard.
Deanna.
Riker.
The Enterprise-D.
Picard versus Newanderthals.
Connections[]
External link[]
- Star Trek: The Next Generation: Warped article at Memory Alpha, the wiki for canon Star Trek.