Star Trek: The Next Generation: Warped - An Engaging Guide to the Never-Aired 8th Season is a licensed parody book that includes summaries of 26 imaginary episodes from TNG's non-existent 8th season.
Contents
- 1 Description
- 2 Episodes
- 2.1 Crushers Not Included
- 2.2 Lecture Circuits
- 2.3 Suggested Donation of Danger
- 2.4 Hair of the Synthadog
- 2.5 I Only Have Mitochondria for You
- 2.6 Transporter Madness
- 2.7 Quantum Dolphins
- 2.8 Rikerworld
- 2.9 The Final Sale Frontier
- 2.10 Deadly Cadence
- 2.11 Fertile Ground
- 2.12 White Face Paint and Black Tubing
- 2.13 The Lowest Decks
- 2.14 Terror-forming
- 2.15 Barclay's Day
- 2.16 Predators
- 2.17 Icy Hot
- 2.18 Hippocratic Style
- 2.19 Tashayarasha Tyar
- 2.20 Son of a Mogh
- 2.21 Time Fire
- 2.22 Controlled Burn
- 2.23 Pointed Threats
- 2.24 The Fun Enterprise
- 2.25 The Atrocious Mr. Quispy Bumpers
- 2.26 Werewolf-Wolf
- 3 Appendices
Description[edit | edit source]
- In the basement of the Star Trek archives, behind shelves of USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D models, bags of wigs, and bins of plastic phasers, sits a dusty cardboard box. Inside is a pile of VHS tapes that contain never-before-seen episodes and behind-the-scenes footage for something truly amazing. The world thinks there are only seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, but there's one more. A secret season.
- Actually, not really. But that didn't stop Mike McMahan, creator of the parody Twitter account @TNG_S8, from making a guide full of:
- REAL* TNG SEASON 8 FACTS AND STORIES!
- REAL* TNG SEASON 8 DIALOGUE AND IMAGES!
- (* Again, not really, of course. This is humor. Sorry.)
Episodes[edit | edit source]
Crushers Not Included[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-001, pages 1–9, stardate 47995.8
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • The Traveler • Deanna Troi
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Borg cones
- Races and cultures
- Betazoid • Borg • Human • Traveler
- Other references
- LuxComfort Ultra Blouse
Lecture Circuits[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-002, pages 10–18, stardate 47999.5
- Characters
- Data • Ebra • Exocomp 77 • Hover Car • Hargon • Linda • Jean-Luc Picard • Plimp • Rad • William T. Riker • Christoph Westlake • chatty birch • five-legged alien bear
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Blood Worm Awareness Conference Hall • Earth • Runyan 8 • Starfleet Academy • Serengeti 5 (referenced)
- Races and cultures
- Andorian war construct • android • Exocomp • Human • mech-zebra
- Other references
- degenerative facial asymmetry disorder • Khitomer Massacre • Two's Company, Three's a Crowd • π Is the Ratio of a Circle's Circumference to Its Diameter • Your Mother Hates Me • Iliad
Suggested Donation of Danger[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-003, pages 19-30, stardate 48015.1
- Characters
- Strongest Brian • Sweet Conrad • Beverly Crusher • Data • Geordi La Forge • Gary Mitchell • Alyssa Ogawa • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Big Shakespeare • Gregory St. Beard II • Brave Steven • Tuk the Destroyer • Qorpo w'Ark • Worf • Zizz the Destroyer
- Referenced only
- Harry Kim • Kahless
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Brodo-5 • Hall of Amazing Men • Marmullian Zacow • Museum of Museum Studies • Museumtucky • New Museum • Realistic Forest • University of Museum
- Referenced only
- Brodo-6 • Equatorial Food Court Island • Fireworks Museum • Great Barrier Coat Room • Gift Shop Island • Icy Parking Lots of the North
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • Klingon
- States and organizations
- Klingon High Council
Hair of the Synthadog[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-004, pages 31-44, stardate 48017.3
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Data • Girtroy • Guinan • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • Deanna Troi • Mzzk queen
- Referenced only
- Wesley Crusher • David Krrgvanimanpon • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Romulan patrol ship
- Locations
- Jessica 8
- Referenced only
- Mzzk
- Races and cultures
- android • Betazoid • El-Aurian • Girtroy's species • Human • Romulan
- Referenced only
- Pigmalinite
- States and organizations
- Broheims
- Other references
- Buffer Buster • Cardassian Spy • Ceti eel • Edward 40 Hands • Eugenic War • Flaxian Flu • Grabarian potato • The Grouchy Bynar • Paradise Snare • Pulaski's Drink • Qo'noS CoolatA • Regulan Shuttle Bomb • Risky Maneuver • Romulan ale • Spin the Bottle of Punching • Tribble Maneuver • Vulcan ale • Warp core breach (beverage) • Yesterday's Tomorrow Today
I Only Have Mitochondria for You[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-005, pages 45-53, stardate 48022.3
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • sentient virus
- Referenced only
- Geordi La Forge • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Ten-Forward
- Races and cultures
- Human • sentient virus
Transporter Madness[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-006, pages 54-64, stardate 48035.3
- Characters
- Beckett • Wesley Crusher • Data • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Ridley Roiland • Spot • Worf
- Referenced only
- Guinan
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- sickbay
- Referenced only
- Arrar sector • Gamma Quadrant
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • Klingon
- Other references
- buffering • d'k tahg • tribble • urine sun
Quantum Dolphins[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-007, pages 65-77, stardate 48115.7
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Data • Guinan • Geordi La Forge • Pho • Jean-Luc Picard • Wade • dolphin judge
- Referenced only
- Butternut • Q • William T. Riker • The Traveler • Deanna Troi • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- holodeck • Ten-Forward
- Referenced only
- Aquatics bay • Cetacean ops
- Races and cultures
- android • El-Aurian • Human • Pho's species • quantum dolphin
- Referenced only
- Boof • GiKwari • Hoovo
- Other references
- cocoa • Great Chumming Machine • hockey • horizontal space rainbow • quantum wine
Rikerworld[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-008, pages 78-84, stardate 48118.9
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Wesley Crusher • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Deanna Troi
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Manly Mines • Rastogan-12 • sickbay • Swagger Cathedral
- Races and cultures
- Betazoid • Human
- Other references
- beardgrass • jazz • microscopic Riker • Riker bat • Riker horse
The Final Sale Frontier[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-009, pages 85-94, stardate 48121.2
- Characters
- Johann Sebastian Bach (hologram) • Wesley Crusher • Data • EnyonK • Geordi La Forge • Miles O'Brien • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • WhitnE
- Referenced only
- James T. Kirk • Spock
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Brittney's • holodeck
- Referenced only
- Canyons of Trajdor • Deep Space 9 • Villia
- Races and cultures
- Android • Human
- Referenced only
- Borg • Vulcan
- Other references
- Kolinahr • Logic Lice • Mzzk ant • nanogoo stir stick • The Savage Curtain (song) • yamok sauce
Deadly Cadence[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-010, pages 95-106, stardate 48125.6
- Characters
- Beverly Crusher • Data • Gla'ar • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Deanna Troi • Worf • Tangorian wasp
- Referenced only
- Geoffrey Chaucer • G'Trok • Kar'Mar • Mark Twain
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Luvu
- Referenced only
- Qo'noS • Risa
- Races and cultures
- android • Betazoid • Human • Klingon
- Other references
- bat'leth • BMW • Cortack Blood • kut'luch • rollerblades
Fertile Ground[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-011, pages 107-118, stardate 48126.9
- Characters
- Antoinette • Beverly Crusher • Data • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • caterpillar-esque creature • mouse-like alien
- Referenced only
- Crystalline Entity • James T. Kirk • Spot • Worf
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- deck 25 • hydroponics bay
- Races and cultures
- Android • Antoinette's species • Human
- Referenced only
- Ferengi • Gorn • Klingon
- Other references
- black hole • graviton beam • katana • Khitomer Accords • tachyon emitter
White Face Paint and Black Tubing[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-012, pages 119-127, stardate 48128.1
- Characters
- Wesley Crusher • Iowa (horse) • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker
- Referenced only
- Lore
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Borg cube
- Locations
- battle bridge • Gambier 5 • Ten-Forward • turbolift
- Races and cultures
- Ferengi • Human
- Referenced only
- Borg • Gambierian • Vulcan
The Lowest Decks[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-013, pages 129-138, stardate 48128.8
- Characters
- Franklin • Geordi La Forge • Lydia • Worf
- Referenced only
- Data • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Deanna Troi
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Referenced only
- Soyuz-class
- Locations
- Deck 43
- Races and cultures
- Human • Klingon • Reman
- Referenced only
- Romulan • Vulcan
- Other references
- dilithium • holodeck drainage pipe • judo • organic laser disposal • sewage reclamation pump • transporter lint bin
Terror-forming[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-014, pages 139-147, stardate 48136.3
- Characters
- Wesley Crusher • Data • Geordi La Forge • Jean-Luc Picard • William T. Riker • Willis • Worf • Zachary (dolphin)
- Starships and vehicles
- USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
- Locations
- Hupyria (planet) • Naldoar Prime
- Races and cultures
- android • Human • Hupyrian • Klingon • quantum dolphin
- Referenced only
- Ferengi
- Other references
- beetle shack • Genesis Device
Barclay's Day[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-015
Predators[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-016
Icy Hot[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-017
Hippocratic Style[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-018
Tashayarasha Tyar[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-019
Son of a Mogh[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-020
Time Fire[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-021
Controlled Burn[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-022
Pointed Threats[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-023
The Fun Enterprise[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-024
The Atrocious Mr. Quispy Bumpers[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-025
Werewolf-Wolf[edit | edit source]
- Episode 08-026
Appendices[edit | edit source]
Images[edit | edit source]
External link[edit | edit source]
- Star Trek: The Next Generation: Warped article at Memory Alpha, the wiki for canon Star Trek.
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