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TNG season 8 redirects here. For a list of actual TNG seasons, see Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Warped - An Engaging Guide to the Never-Aired 8th Season is a licensed parody book that includes summaries of 26 imaginary episodes from TNG's non-existent 8th season.

Description

In the basement of the Star Trek archives, behind shelves of USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D models, bags of wigs, and bins of plastic phasers, sits a dusty cardboard box. Inside is a pile of VHS tapes that contain never-before-seen episodes and behind-the-scenes footage for something truly amazing. The world thinks there are only seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, but there's one more. A secret season.
Actually, not really. But that didn't stop Mike McMahan, creator of the parody Twitter account @TNG_S8, from making a guide full of:
REAL* TNG SEASON 8 FACTS AND STORIES!
REAL* TNG SEASON 8 DIALOGUE AND IMAGES!
(* Again, not really, of course. This is humor. Sorry.)

Episodes

Crushers Not Included

Wesley Crusher.

Episode 08-001, pages 1–9, stardate 47995.8
Wesley Crusher and the Traveler are captured by the Borg and used as batteries. The encounter with the Borg causes a malfunction with the Enterprise power systems, and William T. Riker's blouse malfunctions.
Characters
Beverly CrusherWesley CrusherCaptain Jean-Luc PicardWilliam T. RikerThe TravelerCounselor Deanna Troi
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class explorer) (bridgesickbay) • Borg cones
Races and cultures
BetazoidBorgHumanTraveler
Other references
asteroidblousecherrychocolate chipenergyheadacheice creamice cream sundaeLuxComfort Ultra Blousemeditationmint chocolate chip ice creamred alertrocky road ice creamsensorspacestarship factorysugar conewaffle conewaffle cone sundaeyoga
Background
Interpreting this chapter's stardate using the basic rubric provided in the Star Trek Chronology places this story late in the year 2370.

Lecture Circuits

Data and Spot.

Episode 08-002, pages 10–18, stardate 47999.5
Characters
DataEbraExocomp 77Hover CarHargonLindaJean-Luc PicardPlimpRadWilliam T. RikerChristoph Westlakechatty birchfive-legged alien bear
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Blood Worm Awareness Conference HallEarthRunyan 8Starfleet AcademySerengeti 5 (referenced)
Races and cultures
Andorian war constructandroidExocompHumanmech-zebra
Other references
degenerative facial asymmetry disorderKhitomer MassacreTwo's Company, Three's a Crowdπ Is the Ratio of a Circle's Circumference to Its DiameterYour Mother Hates MeIliad

Suggested Donation of Danger

Episode 08-003, pages 19-30, stardate 48015.1
Characters
Strongest BrianSweet ConradBeverly CrusherDataGeordi La ForgeGary MitchellAlyssa OgawaJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. RikerBig ShakespeareGregory St. Beard IIBrave StevenTuk the DestroyerQorpo w'ArkWorfZizz the Destroyer
Referenced only
Harry KimKahless
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class explorer)
Locations
Brodo-5Hall of Amazing MenMarmullian ZacowMuseum of Museum StudiesMuseumtuckyNew MuseumRealistic ForestUniversity of Museum
Referenced only
Brodo-6Equatorial Food Court IslandFireworks MuseumGreat Barrier Coat RoomGift Shop IslandIcy Parking Lots of the North
Races and cultures
androidHumanKlingon
States and organizations
Klingon High Council
Other references
museum

Hair of the Synthadog

Episode 08-004, pages 31-44, stardate 48017.3
Characters
Beverly CrusherDataGirtroyGuinanGeordi La ForgeJean-Luc PicardDeanna TroiMzzk queen
Referenced only
Wesley CrusherDavid KrrgvanimanponWorf
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Romulan patrol ship
Locations
Jessica 8Jessica system
Referenced only
Mzzk
Races and cultures
androidBetazoidEl-AurianGirtroy's speciesHumanRomulan
Referenced only
Pigmalinite
States and organizations
Broheims
Other references
Buffer BusterCardassian SpyCeti eelDirt beerEdward 40 HandsEugenic WarFlaxian FluGrabarian potatoThe Grouchy BynarmoonMzzk antParadise SnarePulaski's DrinkQo'noS CoolatARegulan Shuttle BombRisky ManeuverRomulan alesandwichSpin the Bottle of PunchingTribble ManeuverVulcan aleWarp core breach (beverage)Yesterday's Tomorrow Today

I Only Have Mitochondria for You

Episode 08-005, pages 45-53, stardate 48022.3
Characters
Beverly CrusherJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. Rikersentient virus
Referenced only
Geordi La ForgeWorf
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Ten-Forward
Races and cultures
Humansentient virus

Transporter Madness

Episode 08-006, pages 54-64, stardate 48035.3
Characters
BeckettWesley CrusherDataJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. RikerRidley RoilandSpotWorf
Referenced only
Guinan
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
sickbay
Referenced only
Arrar sectorGamma Quadrant
Races and cultures
androidHumanKlingon
Other references
bufferingd'k tahgtribbleurine sun

Quantum Dolphins

QdGeordiData.jpg
Episode 08-007, pages 65-77, stardate 48115.7
Characters
Beverly CrusherWesley CrusherDataGuinanGeordi La ForgePhoJean-Luc PicardWadedolphin judge
Referenced only
ButternutQWilliam T. RikerThe TravelerDeanna TroiWorf
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
holodeckTen-Forward
Referenced only
Aquatics bayCetacean ops
Races and cultures
androidEl-AurianHumanPho's speciesquantum dolphin
Referenced only
BoofGiKwariHoovo
Other references
cocoaGreat Chumming Machinehockeyhorizontal space rainbowquantum wine

Rikerworld

William T. Riker.

Episode 08-008, pages 78-84, stardate 48118.9
Characters
Beverly CrusherWesley CrusherJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. RikerDeanna Troi
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Manly MinesRastogan-12sickbaySwagger Cathedral
Races and cultures
BetazoidHuman
Other references
beardgrassjazzmicroscopic RikerRiker batRiker horse

The Final Sale Frontier

Episode 08-009, pages 85-94, stardate 48121.2
Characters
Johann Sebastian Bach (hologram)Wesley CrusherDataEnyonKGeordi La ForgeMiles O'BrienJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. RikerWhitnE
Referenced only
James T. KirkSpock
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Brittney'sholodeck
Referenced only
Canyons of TrajdorDeep Space 9Villia
Races and cultures
androidHuman
Referenced only
BorgVulcan
Other references
KolinahrLogic LiceMzzk antnanogoo stir stickThe Savage Curtain (song)yamok sauce

Deadly Cadence

Episode 08-010, pages 95-106, stardate 48125.6
Characters
Beverly CrusherDataGla'arGeordi La ForgeJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. RikerDeanna TroiWorfTangorian wasp
Referenced only
Geoffrey ChaucerG'TrokKar'MarMark Twain
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Luvu
Referenced only
Qo'noSRisa
Races and cultures
androidBetazoidHumanKlingon
Other references
bat'lethBMWCortack Bloodkut'luchrollerblades

Fertile Ground

Episode 08-011, pages 107-118, stardate 48126.9
Characters
AntoinetteBeverly CrusherDataGeordi La ForgeJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. Rikercaterpillar-esque creaturemouse-like alien
Referenced only
Crystalline EntityJames T. KirkSpotWorf
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
deck 25hydroponics bay
Races and cultures
androidAntoinette's speciesHuman
Referenced only
FerengiGornKlingon
Other references
black holegraviton beamkatanaKhitomer Accordstachyon emitter

White Face Paint and Black Tubing

Episode 08-012, pages 119-127, stardate 48128.1
Characters
Wesley CrusherIowa (horse)Geordi La ForgeJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. Riker
Referenced only
Lore
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Borg cube
Locations
battle bridgeGambier 5Ten-Forwardturbolift
Races and cultures
FerengiHuman
Referenced only
BorgGambierianVulcan

The Lowest Decks

Episode 08-013, pages 129-138, stardate 48128.8
Characters
FranklinGeordi La ForgeLydiaWorf
Referenced only
DataJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. RikerDeanna Troi
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Referenced only
Soyuz-class
Locations
Deck 43
Races and cultures
HumanKlingonReman
Referenced only
RomulanVulcan
Other references
dilithiumholodeck drainage pipejudoorganic laser disposalsewage reclamation pumptransporter lint bin

Terror-forming

Episode 08-014, pages 139-147, stardate 48136.3
Characters
Wesley CrusherDataGeordi La ForgeJean-Luc PicardWilliam T. RikerWillisWorfZachary (dolphin)
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Hupyria (planet)Naldoar Prime
Races and cultures
androidHumanHupyrianKlingonquantum dolphin
Referenced only
Ferengi
Other references
beetle shackGenesis Device

Barclay's Day

Episode 08-015, pages 148-159, stardate 48137.1
Characters
Reginald BarclayCalifornia SteveJean-Luc PicardQbaby space snakes
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
bridgeholodeck
Races and cultures
HumanQ (species)
Other references
environmental suitGazorpazorpian caterpillarholodeck archreplicatorsaunashield emitterturbolift

Predators

Episode 08-016, pages 160-166, stardate 48138.4
Characters
Wesley CrusherDataHomnJean-Luc PicardWilliam RikerDeanna TroiLwaxana TroiVelociRikerWorf
Referenced only
Odo
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
bridgeTen-Forward
Referenced only
Deep Space 9
Races and cultures
androidBetazoidHumanKlingonvelociraptor
Referenced only
Ferengi
Other references
Tavnian buzzardtennis

Icy Hot

Episode 08-017, pages 167-175, stardate 48139.6
Characters
Wesley CrusherDataFargonGeordi La ForgeJean-Luc PicardWilliam RikerVick
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Porpbridge
Races and cultures
androidHumanice alienKlingon
Other references
antiproton beamdistortion wavegravitic sensor netLower Decks Challengemetaphasic sweepMok'baraquantum beaconsensor echoSuicide (beverage)tachyon detection gridtetryon

Hippocratic Style

Episode 08-018, pages 176-184, stardate 48139.9
Characters
ChezzerBeverly CrusherWesley CrusherDataGorlipKorpoKupow TripletsGeordi La ForgeJean-Luc PicardWorfLaaperian hawk
Referenced only
Brooke
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
MarmiTen-Forward
Races and cultures
AaamazzariteandroidBolianHumanKlingonLaaperian hawkMarmianOrion
Referenced only
Ferengi
Other references
bat'lethdilithiumHippocratic Stylepositronic brainSilver Spoon syndicateVISOR

Tashayarasha Tyar

Episode 08-019, pages 187-196, stardate 48140.2
Characters
Beverly CrusherWesley CrusherDataPicariketroi LaCrusherGeordi La ForgeJean-Luc PicardWilliam RikerDeanna TroiWorfTashayarasha TyarTasha Yar
Referenced only
Tuvix
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Referenced only
Nervala IVVagra II
Races and cultures
androidBetazoidHumanKlingon

Son of a Mogh

Worf.

Episode 08-020, pages 197-205, stardate 48155.7
Characters
Angelikar CavalloWesley CrusherDataJean-Luc PicardWorfcyber crabs
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Ten-Forward
Races and cultures
androidHumanKlingon
Other references
dogPon farr • "Worfing"

Time Fire

Picard versus Newanderthals.

Episode 08-021, pages 206-215, stardate 48156.3
Characters
CleopatraBeverly CrusherWesley CrusherNeanderthal HitlerJean-Luc PicardQWilliam G. Riker
Referenced only
sentient caveDatarobo-Neanderthal JFKGeordi La ForgeDeanna TroiWorf
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • Enterprise-Z
Locations
Bartek-8Caldos IIFranceWhite House
Races and cultures
HumanNeanderthalQ (species)
Referenced only
Borg
Other references
anti-cave pantsInternetMom pantsshotguntime paradox

Controlled Burn

Episode 08-022, pages 216-224, stardate 48158.5
Characters
Beverly CrusherWesley CrusherDataGuinanGeordi La ForgeWilliam RikerVickWorfMarvistan emperor
Locations
MarvistaTen-Forward
Races and cultures
androidBorgEl-AurianHumanKlingonMarvistan
Other references
amphora vaseVISOR

Pointed Threats

Episode 08-023, pages 225-235, stardate 48158.7
Characters
BrotneyBeverly CrusherWesley CrusherDataGagliarGeordi La ForgeVokWorf
Referenced only
Reginald BarclayT'KikTasha Yar
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Museum of Famous SwordsSector 25712sickbayZindo
Referenced only
Qo'noSSiblee sector
Races and cultures
androidBrotney's speciesHumanKlingon
Other references
checkerscocoonThe Danger KnifeThe Demon Bladed'k tahgGarvdo's RevengeHouse of DinkkatanalirpaOld Double HiltThe PlebanParrises squaresPrime DirectiveThe Singing SwordSnaptroSStrifewarlarK

The Fun Enterprise

Enterprise-D.

Episode 08-024, pages 236-246, stardate 48159.3
Characters
Reginald BarclayB'EtorBeverly CrusherDataDonkJerry FeldmanGeordi La ForgeLursaJean-Luc PicardWilliam RikerWorf
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class) • fun Enterprise
Locations
Qo'noSTen-Forward
Races and cultures
androidHumanKlingon
Other references
arcade machinebat'lethcigarette • "Consuming Living Prey" • cotton candyGreat Klingon ChallengesgrishnarjarzoHouse of DurasHouse of Martokparticle stickshark tanksilly stringtargYMCA

The Atrocious Mr. Quispy Bumpers

Episode 08-025, pages 247-258, stardate 48162.7
Characters
Quispy BumpersBeverly CrusherWesley CrusherNateWilliam Riker
Starships and vehicles
USS Enterprise-D (Galaxy-class)
Locations
Eternal Love NestLaap Ri
Races and cultures
Humanquantum dolphinQuispy Bumpers' species
Other references
bird tobacco dip

Werewolf-Wolf

Episode 08-026, pages 259, stardate 48163.1
Characters
Wesley CrusherDataGeordi La ForgeWilliam T. RikerWerewolf-Wolfalien jewellermega-mosquitoultra-caterpillar
Locations
Tanz
Other references
Data's holonovels: (The Werewolf-Wolf: The Story of a Wolf that Can Turn into a Werewolf, Based on a Drawing by Geordi La ForgeThe Engine That Nobody Thought Could Be Repaired but Then It Was: A Geordi TaleThe Mystery of the Candy TreeGeordi Can FlyCowboy HorseDance-Contest DangerWho Kidnapped Cowboy HorseSnake TownVacation Island and the Mysterious Coin) • mega-ambermega-tree

Appendices

Images

External link

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